I wrote this book because so many adults were telling me that their childhoods were excruciatingly difficult, even when their parents had the best intentions, because no one knew how to raise them. So, the second “what now” might be to read The Highly Sensitive Child. Otherwise, as adults they are prone to depression, anxiety, and shyness.
If one could see inside the mind of a sensitive child, however, one would learn the whole story of what is going on–creativity, intuition, surprising wisdom, empathy for others…īut, for all of that to blossom, they absolutely must be raised with understanding. Unfortunately, the trait has been somewhat misunderstood in our culture, so that most psychologists and parents tend to see only one aspect of some sensitive children and call this trait shyness, inhibitedness, fearfulness, fussiness, or “hyper” sensitivity. The trait serves an important purpose for the individual sensitive person and for the larger society–for example, sensitive persons sense danger and see the consequences of an action before others do. It represents a strategy of taking everything into account before acting (the other, more common innate strategy is to act quickly and be first, then think later). Nor is it something new I made up or “just discovered.” It is an inborn temperament or style that is found in about twenty percent of children and of nearly all animals. Another way to know is to read more about the trait and decide for yourself.įirst, appreciate that this is a wonderful trait. It is one way to know if a child is highly sensitive, but not always accurate for a given child. One way to know is to complete the online questionnaire ‘ Is Your Child Highly Sensitive?‘, which also provides a good sense of what is meant by a “highly sensitive child.” The items come from a longer list given to over a hundred parents and then statistically selected to best identify HSCs. But outspoken and fussy or reserved and obedient, all HSCs are sensitive to their emotional and physical environment. Because children are a blend of a number of temperament traits, some HSCs are fairly difficult–active, emotionally intense, demanding, and persistent–while others are calm, turned inward, and almost too easy to raise except when they are expected to join a group of children they do not know. They are also easily overwhelmed by high levels of stimulation, sudden changes, and the emotional distress of others.
This makes them quick to grasp subtle changes, prefer to reflect deeply before acting, and generally behave conscientiously. A highly sensitive child is one of the fifteen to twenty percent of children born with a nervous system that is highly aware and quick to react to everything.
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